I know a lot of women that are born mamas. As in, the moment they could hold a doll they would naturally mother her and take on the role of a mama without any training or direction. It was just God-given. The same tiny girls grew up with dreams of having their own children to nurture and love.
I remember playing with dolls with my sisters when I was little. Cabbage Patch dolls and life-like baby dolls were my favorites. We’d name them, dress them up, put real Pampers diapers on them, and play house. Those years feel like a million years ago some days! But even back then I was never one to dream of a houseful of my own children. Playtime was just that—I’d play, then put the babies down and move on. Being the youngest in our family probably had an influence on that. Since I was the baby I didn’t know what it was like to have a real baby to hold and nurture. So I never really dreamed about having a bunch of my own babies. I dreamed of marriage and family, but not too quickly on the baby part!
Fast forward years ahead to when Jonah and I found out we were expecting our first baby. Wow! What a terrifying day! I honestly was scared, fearful of being a mom. How did I know anything about motherhood? About pregnancy? About labor and delivery? It was thrilling and fearful and yet one of the best gifts God has given us.
The real labor was not physically giving birth to this tiny child. It was giving myself to be a mom. To care for another helpless human being, to provide what they need, and tirelessly give and give selflessly was the ultimate testimony of laying down your life. And it was by choice, and with my whole heart.
The day I found out I was expecting was the beginning of a work in me that God knew I needed. He was breathing desires into me, weeding out selfishness, and molding me to be who He wanted me to be. And I am so thankful for His love, and pursuit of me.
I didn’t know quite how much I was not in control until I had children. Our first experience with pregnancy and delivery and newborn days and all the things you learn along the way stretched me and made me search out God for answers. What now Lord? What’s the best choice Lord? What in the world are we doing Lord? How thankful I am that HE is in control and reminded me of this. His plan for us is so much greater than what we can think up on our own. (Ephesians 3:20)
By the time we welcomed our second son, my heart was different from our first birth. The fears and inadequacies I experienced were gone. We were more relaxed, and so incredibly eager to welcome this new baby home. What a work the Lord was doing in me (in us both)! I had learned at this point to just trust the Lord—for delivery, for details, for all the things we did not have control of—and it was amazing. It was a peace-filled few weeks after our second son was born.
surreal. it’s always surreal during those first moments after birth with a warm tiny being beside you.
It’s been an incredible thing to wear this mantle of motherhood and I can look back all those years ago and see that I was indeed born to be a mama. The desire that God planted in me grew with each child and it continues to shape me now. I’m in the middle of little years, on the verge of being through with toddlerhood and, even in the past year of grief, I am thankful for the little gifts God has given us. Thankful for the heart that has been changed through these babies. Thankful that God has given me a passion for being a mama but more so to serve the Lord in every area of my life. I am not perfect by any means; I fail all the time. But one thing I do know is that in all the work of being mama, there is nothing more sanctifying. I get to serve the Lord by raising my family! What an incredibly amazing gift! I can’t believe I have the privilege of doing this!
With all that said, I love encouraging mamas in their own stories. I love cheering them on and praying for them and walking alongside them in support.
And finally, with the realization of where my heart is, I am formally making a shift in my photography to focus on motherhood! I can relate the most to this, as I wade through it myself with God’s grace each day. I am excited to take on your stories, and photograph what motherhood looks like to you.
While I will not be an exclusive motherhood photographer, I am eager to grow in the place God has given my heart a passion for. To see stories of other mamas and to encourage them in the process, this is my hope and desire.
I am looking forward to sharing more of my own stories that I shoot regularly as our own everyday here at home. But if you would like to book a session, I’d love to sit and chat with you over a cup of coffee to know more of what motherhood is to you.
You can contact me here for more info.
Until then, be blessed my friends, wherever you are in your own journey that the Lord is carving out for you.